Kareena Kapoor talks about how her string of failures ‘hurt’ her, crying every day: ‘I hadn’t worked for a year when…’

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A young man’s case of auditory hallucinations involving Kareena Kapoor sheds light on this condition (Photo: Instagram/kareena Kapoor Khan)

It has been two decades since Kareena Kapoor Khan made her film debut with JP Dutta’s Refugee and in her 25-year-long career, the actress has seen many ups and downs, including major box-office disasters. She makes no bones about having seen more failures than successes before she stepped into the role of Geet in Imtiaz Ali’s Jab We Met, a film that changed the trajectory of her acting career. Kareena, who will be seen in the heist drama Crew, during her appearance on The Ranveer Show, said, “There were a string of failures before Jab We Met was successful. I hadn’t worked for a year before this film came my way because so many of my films released before Jab We Met didn’t work.”

 Kareena Kapoor Khan and Shahid Kapoor in a still from Imtiaz Ali’s Jab We Met.The actress revealed that these setbacks made her second guess herself and despite being upset with her films not doing well, she chose to suffer in silence. “I was very upset. I was traumatized, I would cry myself to sleep for so many nights thinking, ‘Why are my films not working? What is happening?’ People were like she is so good but that one turn, which I needed, was not happening. If it happened to anybody else, nobody would have survived it,” said Kareena, adding, “Nobody talks about it (dealing with failure) because there is a certain perception about stars and I have never let people feel what I was going through because I had been good in those films or I might have worked very hard for those roles.”

She shared that she had to take a step back to reassess herself and prepare herself to give her best when the right script came. The actress cited her doing any and every film for the series of failures at the box office. “Films were not working at the box office and, ultimately, box office success is important,’ he added.

 Kareena will be seen alongside Tabu and Kriti Sanon in Crew which releases on March 29.Reflecting on the profession which she calls can be “daunting”, “demanding” and “selfish,” Kareena said people in the industry won’t understand what an actor is going through emotionally, a price many stars like herself have to pay to be in the business. “There is no room to feel any emotion. You have to make sure you are just being a perfect star,” she said.

“I may have had a fight with my mother or son and I might be feeling terrible and so many other things could go wrong at that time, but you just have to be in front of the camera and that’s what makes the profession demanding. Somebody could be dying but if you’re in front of the camera. That’s it,” she rued.

Kareena also spoke about the lack of room for actors dealing with lows and an environment where they can speak out about what they’re going through. “No matter if you are dying with a 102 fever, there is nobody with you, they don’t care, if you have to give a shot, you have to give a shot. What you are feeling inside, nobody understands. How much will someone understand? There is no sick leave in this profession.

The actress has starred in at least 70 films and she refuses to slow down or pause, owing to her hunger to go on and do more. “The hunger should constantly be there and you must have this feeling, ‘I can do that.’ The day I stop feeling this, I will be done. That fire and hunger are still there. People feel that I can act till the age of 80. That feeling of ‘I can also do this’ or ‘Let me try that’ keeps me going and keeps me on my toes,” said the Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham actress. Ask her why she is hustling and pat came the reply, “I am doing it for myself. I am doing it to be satisfied and satiated (sic).”